Mental Chains

Dismantling Weight and Getting Free

Photo courtesy of Gratisography

I am held down by four cold metal chains. The first has this phrase engraved upon its links:

You will miss the boat.

Wait, what? Uhm, which boat and where? I’m on dry land 99.999% of the time. I fly, I drive, I walk, but rarely do I sail. So why am I obsessed with a boat leaving me behind? Where is it even going?

I can remove that one, but this heavy one reads, Worry keeps you grounded.

Oh shit, this is complex. Somehow I have it in my mind that if I anticipate all the troubles, this will equal preparation. In reality life never seems to play out the way I imagine it will, and that makes me worry! But what if I were free and in the moment instead? Could I then respond in a better way to the things that do occur?

I certainly might become a better listener ~ especially to ALL that is nudging and guiding me… including my healed and well ancestors and my spirit guides and Dan and all the forces of Nature, but I still worry I would be blindsided. The times that has happened, however, it wasn’t for lack of worrying. It was for lack of knowing what life had in store for me. The truth is, I can not know what will happen and I need to let the assumption that I could know… fall away. My thoughts do not equal future outcomes. Therefore I can relax my grip on the illusion of knowing how and when and who and what will unfold. I have no idea. I can just be and respond. My mind can give up my “worry” real estate. Right now.

Other Mental Chains? Let’s see. This one says:

I am annoying.

Ouch. It’s true. I can be annoying. I feel I must monitor my words around others. In reality I am likely just as annoying as the next human, who is sometimes annoying and sometimes delightful. And I have ways to mitigate the annoying factor with exercise and sleep and journaling and such. I am mostly A-ok 🙂 so can I be less vigilant and allow myself to be carefree? Yes! Bye bye annoying chain.

Mental Chain number four states, I am not doing enough.

I live in my imagination where I CAN DO IT ALL and because that’s what I see in my mind’s eye, I feel I fall short when I don’t actually achieve the lofty goals of taking care of friends, family, pets, etc. to the degree I feel I should. It is hard to keep up with my own expectations. In reality, when I do execute flawlessly I get exhausted and resentful. Sometimes the hardcore caretaking is less welcome than I anticipated, but mostly folks seem happy for me to continue to GIVE and give and give even when I am clearly tapped out. What the heck?! Who is in charge of this pattern? Well, clearly I am the one with the imagination gone awry. Anticipating all the possible ASKS out there in the world makes me grumpy and feeling like a geisha girl in 2025! Screw this chain. Piss off I am not doing enough! I will bury you under a pile of dirt and let your minerals nourish the worms.

I’m making way for Wisely Moving Forward and Through. This is not a chain, but an air of self respectability. I can sashay while I wear it, yes, but most importantly it allows me to keep my essence intact. With it I take time for tea to brew and have energy for the important things.

I think I just set myself free, y’all.